Valuable cooking tips

Baking those muffins today just reminded me of the first time I tried muffins.

A fair few years ago muffins were not well known here in Australia. We had cupcakes but the (considered) healthier alternative, muffins were something we only saw on TV.

As they started to gain momentum here I was trying to find a recipe as I wanted to try to make some. The ones we could buy here in cafes were like dense cakes and I was sure the homemade variety would be a lot nicer.

The internet wasnt around so I was combing through recipe books at home and in book shops but had no luck.

Enter Marilyn. Marilyn is a lady that I have been friends with for most of my working life. She was born in Canada, had been traveling the world and then when she arrived on Australian soil met the man that mattered and has been here ever since.

I mentioned that I had been seeing these muffins in cafes but couldn't find a recipe. Marilyn kindly gave me her mother's family recipe for blueberry muffins along with the 'code' for the American ingredients and measurements.

What she failed to mention and I failed to realise was that the primary ingredient was bran. Oh there was about 1/3 cup of flour in there but the secret to these muffins being so moist and delicious was bran soaked for 24 hours in milk.

The recipe was so easy and so quick I decided to make a double batch. Everyone ate at least 3, including myself and they were gone in next to no time.

The whole family was really impressed with the recipe and I had orders for more muffins the next week.

Until the next day, the first sign that something was wrong was the amount of, shall we call it – wind – for the purposes of decency. I could have powered a small city on the methane I was producing.

The next part of the story defies telling, the only thing I will say is that if I ever need to go for a bowel examination I will use 3 bran muffins instead of the medi-prep.

Inbetween visits to the bathroom I received calls from my family accusing me of trying to kill them by turning them inside out. Luckily we are a family of non smokers or there would have been explosions of meth lab proportions all around Sydney.

Tip!      Dont ever be so greedy as to eat 3 large anything and bran really does keep you regular.